At a decent time, at a decent age.
Briefing everything that races through the streams in our heads. The challenge of words, my first attempt of creating a home for myself.
That’s my deepest desire having everything of my own pleasure, enclosed in my own walls. It must sound irrelevant, but its the one experience I’ve never experienced.
I’ve always seemed to land in the strangest places, assorting myself to everybody else’s accords. And yes, there were those who were self righteous enough to put me before them. But who was I? Always feeling horrible as if I wasn’t worthy enough. Worthy enough to have my own things… Which I was, I just didn’t realize it then, because I wasn’t surrounded by people.
Isn’t that crazy? I’ve never told anybody that. But from the months of March until the month of August I really, I don’t exaggerate, didn’t see people. I spent countless days after days.. literally watching the same movies only waiting for him to come home just so that he could leave again. This made me so bruised I cannot let anybody close again, I cannot freely love anymore. And so I joined the army and ran away for 5 months.
I realized, maybe a little late, the importance of our independence. All that I want is to be independent. Not involving anybody in anything, because it just seems so much easier not having to explain yourself when your not so good with words.
To have your own place to call home is my very own definition of independence. I’ve come across so many different homes and everybody’s screams their own personality. Well I want to spend my time building my home, my foundation. If only I knew where to start. Those are the things running through my head right now. The things of importance… at a decent time, at a decent age.
As a bio major, I figured “free will” meant chemicals in your brain telling you what to do, the molecules bouncing around in a way that felt like choosing but was actually only the dance of little gears—neurons and hormones bubbling up into decisions like clockwork. You don’t use your body; it uses you.- Scott Westerfield
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I’m doing my best not to forget about my hispanic brothas and sistas ;)
I just love Swiss Mocha flavored capps! Off to class… talk to ya later crazies :))
Okay no more BS,
on a more serious level: Ayaz still isn’t back from the gym. Kelsey pretty much read to me the best poem/writing I’ve heard in over two decades. Plus, Im chatting with an html genius who’s kinda rad ;) Okay so this post wasn’t exactly so serious either, but eh whatever. I’m getting to it…
Google’s going to hate me.
I’m beginning a little project for myself.
Seeming that I can’t keep up with Ayaz these days. It’s as if my memory has been swiped, I know nothing. But as of now, I will know the location to every country of the world, and possibly the capitals of those countries as well. Maybe even the president, or prime ministers names, just to add a bit more of an impression o_0
Soon, very very soon. This will be happening.
Whoah! When did Bertha Angela become educated?
…is what you all will be saying soon.
It really was as great as it seems,
Good god,
It just so happens, everytime I have to meet up with somebody my foot falls asleep. Making me incapable of looking normal, whatever normal is. Im headed off, but I’d just like to mention. I pay no mind to what people think. Flickering lights are pleasant, and there’s no way in hell I’d ever switch the light bulb…
